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Friday mistake "otani"

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Okay, well yesterday on Friday, i had to tell "otani" something important, but i forgot and he kept asking what it was, so i just thought of something just so he can stop bugging me. And I said this " i don't want to be friends" and "otani" said "Okay." and i said "can't you give me a straight answer" and he said " striaghit okay a line" but he was joking, Then we passed by this dude who used to like me and was going to ask me out, but he found out i was a ninth grader and "only" dates !0th graders( what jerk right? I never even liked him)But then here comes "otani" and he says' "Hey Harrison(thats the dudes name), she(which is me) is a 10th grader", and Harrison kept asking " are you a tenth grader?" and i just smiled trying to hide my madness and was laughing, and Harrison kept asking, and "otani" was just like standing there. I was walking away and i turned back to "otani and screamed out " Why are you doing this?"and he just stared. Now I am so stupid for saying that i dont want to be friends -.-, but thats the first thing that came to my mind. But i am more pissed at the fact that he was throwing me off to some other guy when he knows i like him(otani). I feel hurt, he basically turned me down, that's what i believe , now i never want to speak to him or even see him. All i wanted to know was how he felt to my reaction, but he just gave me an "okay" I feel so broken. I am being toyed, I am like his guiney pig. I was fooled and played, my feelings are hurt. He isin't worth likeing. I don't know if he meant it when he said he liked me three weeks ago, becuase that was long ago, i want to know how he feels now. Friday was supposed to be our date, but i flaked on him like the third time . I hate him, ughh i dont really mean that, its just it will be hard for me to give up on him.. i have him for fifth period and i sit in back of him. I wish i could rewind right now and fix this. He is an arrogant asshole, and I should no no no HAVE to give up on him, i just hope some other guy will pop up and say "hello there" then this would be a new journey ;). I am just soo depressed right now, i cant even do anything right, i was walking up the stairs and i tripped, my knees started bleeding a lot. I hope i can fix this, i still have faith i can try.. but i will fail and get hurt so bad where i give up on everything
Current Location:
kitchen
Current Music:
snow patrol-you could be happy
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